Remember, Only A Policeman Is Allowed To

Cleaning Your House While Your Kids Are Still Growing Up Is Like Shoveling The Walk Before It Stops Snowing.

I Love To Go To The Doctor. Where Else Would A Man Look At Me And Say, 'take Off Your Clothes'?

In Most States You Can Get A Driver's License When You're Sixteen Years Old, Which Made A Lot Of Sense To Me When I Was Sixteen Years Old But Now Seems Insane.

Choose A Checked Or Striped Wall Paper. People Will Be Halfway Home Before They Are Able To Focus.

I'd Love To Slit My Mother-in-law's Corsets And Watch Her Spread To Death.