It's An Ill Will That Blows When

I Have Nothing Against Dogs. I Just Hate Rugs That Go Squish-squish.

I Got My First Laugh When My Mother Entered Me In A Baby Contest.

If Your Husband Wants To Lick The Beaters On The Mixer, Shut Them Off Before You Give Them To Him.

Remember, Only A Policeman Is Allowed To Express Himself On An Expressway.

Comedy Is Tragedy Revisited Or Hostility. It Is Mock Hostility, Of Course, Or It Would Be Ugly; We Would Have A War.