... If They [your Children] Write Their

I Asked The Waiter, 'is This Milk Fresh?' He Said, 'lady, Three Hours Ago It Was Grass.'

You've Got To Realize That When All Goes Well, And Everything Is Beautiful, You Have No Comedy. It's When Somebody Steps On The Bride's Train, Or Belches During The Ceremony That You've Got Comedy!

Just The Other Day I Said To Fang, "don't You Think We've Got A Storybook Romance?" And He Said, "yes, And Every Page Is Ripped.

In Most States You Can Get A Driver's License When You're Sixteen Years Old, Which Made A Lot Of Sense To Me When I Was Sixteen Years Old But Now Seems Insane.

I Admit, I Have A Tremendous Sex Drive. My Boyfriend Lives Forty Miles Away.