A Terrible Thing Happened To Me Last

I Love To Go To The Doctor. Where Else Would A Man Look At Me And Say, 'take Off Your Clothes'?

When You Play Spin The Bottle, If They Don't Want To Kiss You They Have To Give You A Quarter. Well, Hell, By The Time I Was Twelve Years Old I Owned My Own Home.

Health - What My Friends Are Always Drinking To Before They Fall Down.

My Body's In Such Bad Shape I Wear Prescription Underwear.

I Still Take The Pill. I Don't Want Any More Grandchildren.