You Know You're Old When Your Walker

All I Ever Learned At My Mother's Knee Was What A Bony Knee Looked Like.

Isn't My Fur Stole Pitiful? How Unsuccessful Can A Girl Look? People Think I'm Wearing Anchovies. The Worst Of It Is, I Trapped These Under My Own Sink.

I Hate Smart Sales Clerks. I Said To One, What Do You Have In Lingerie? She Says, More Than You'll Ever Have!

I'd Love To Slit My Mother-in-law's Corsets And Watch Her Spread To Death.

Everybody Knows How Lazy He Is. One Day The Neighbors Saw Fang Mow The Lawn And I Got Three Get Well Cards.