Old Age Is When The Liver Spots

My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face Looked Like A Bouquet Of Elbows.

Once My Husband Said To Me, 'i'm Going To Have Some Coffee. Do You Want Me To Put Some Hot Water On For You?' I Thought That Was The Least He Could Do Considering I Was Giving Birth.

My Sister Was So Promiscuous She Broke Her Ankle In The Glove Compartment Of A Car.

[when To Have A Facelift:] If You're Tripping Over Your Neck.

My Mother-in-law Must Be The Probation Officer I Got For The Crime I Committed Of Marrying My Husband.