Yesterday In New York City, Donald Trump

Inauguration Security Was Tighter Than Kirstie Alley In A Pair Of Spandex Pants.

Osama Bin Laden Has Hired 10 Look-alikes. Now, How Hard Up Do You Have To Be Before You Take That Job? There's No Way To Win! If Osama Dies, You Don't Get Paid. If You're Found, You Get Killed.

How Many Are Worried About A Government Shutdown? How Many Are More Worried About It Starting Back Up?

The Fcc Is Considering Lifting The Ban On Cellphone Calls On Planes. The Good News Is You'll Be Able To Make Calls During Your Flight. The Bad News? The Person Sitting Next To You Will Be Able To Make Cellphone Calls During Yourflight.

If You Restore A Car, And You're Making Money, Then You're Doing It Wrong.