The Only Parts Left Of My Original

When You Play Spin The Bottle, If They Don't Want To Kiss You They Have To Give You A Quarter. Well, Hell, By The Time I Was Twelve Years Old I Owned My Own Home.

Absolutely Nothing Was Happening In My Marriage. I Nicknamed My Waterbed, Lake Placid!

I Became A Stand-up Comedienne Because I Had A Sit-down Husband.

Before You Get Married You Should Meet Your Fiance's Parents. It Is Not Enough That You Like His Parole Officer.

If I Wore A Peek-a-boo Dress, It Would Be Like Turning In A False Alarm.