My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face

I'd Love To Slit My Mother-in-law's Corsets And Watch Her Spread To Death.

It's Hard To Find A Negligee In My Size. I Wear A Junior Mister.

When I Go To The Beach, Even The Tide Won't Come In.

I'm From Such An Old Family, It's Been Condemned.

The Reason I'm Not An Alcoholic Is I Don't Like To Drink In Front Of The Kids . . . And When You're Away From Them, Who Needs It?.