I'm From Such An Old Family, It's

Cleaning Your House While Your Kids Are Still Growing Up Is Like Shoveling The Walk Before It Stops Snowing.

I'm Eighteen Years Behind In My Ironing. There's No Use Doing It Now, It Doesn't Fit Anybody I Know.

The Only Parts Left Of My Original Body Are My Elbows.

When Buying A New House ... Buy The House Far Enough Away From School So Your Kids Can't Come Home For Lunch.

Choose A Checked Or Striped Wall Paper. People Will Be Halfway Home Before They Are Able To Focus.