My Photographs Don't Do Me Justice -

It Took Me Three Weeks To Stuff The Turkey. I Stuffed It Through The Beak.

When I Go To The Beach, Even The Tide Won't Come In.

I Got My First Laugh When My Mother Entered Me In A Baby Contest.

I Should Have Suspected My Husband Was Lazy. On Our Wedding Day, His Mother Told Me: "i'm Not Losing A Son; I'm Gaining A Couch."

I Have So Many Liver Spots, I Ought To Come With A Side Of Onions.