Most Men Are Secretly Still Mad At

Men Who Drink Herbal Teas Are Seldom Serial Killers.

Men Will Now Get Up And Walk With The Baby In The Middle Of The Night, Change Its Diapers, And Give It A Bottle, But In Their Heart Of Hearts They Still Think They Shouldn't Have To.

Halloween Was Confusing. All My Life My Parents Said, "never Take Candy From Strangers." And Then They Dressed Me Up And Said, "go Beg For It." I Didn't Know What To Do. I'd Knock On People's Doors And Go, "trick Or Treat."

I Had Teeth That Stuck Out So Far, I Used To Eat Other Kids' Candy Bars By Accident.

My Father Was Never Very Friendly. When I Was Growing Up, I Thought The Doorbell Ringing Was A Signal To Pretend You Weren't Home.