My Father Was Never Very Friendly. When

I Had Teeth That Stuck Out So Far, I Used To Eat Other Kids' Candy Bars By Accident.

I Suffer From Peroxide Phobia. Every Time I've Gotten Near A Blond Woman, Something Of Mine Has Disappeared. Jobs, Boyfriends... One Time An Angora Sweater Leaped Right Off My Body.

I Was Going To Have Cosmetic Surgery Until I Noticed That The Doctor's Office Was Full Of Portraits By Picasso.

I Like Whomever To Come To My Shows. I Want People Who Want To See Me To Come See Me. I Don't Want To Force People. I Don't Want It To Feel Like A Job!

After You've Dated Someone It Should Be Legal To Stamp Them With What's Wrong With Them So The Next Person Doesn't Have To Start From Scratch.