If You Could Learn To Make Love,

I Came From A Real Tough Neighborhood. I Put My Hand In Some Cement And Felt Another Hand.

I Bought A New Japanese Car, I Turned On The Radio ... I Don't Understand A Word They're Saying.

My Wife Only Has Sex With Me For A Purpose. Last Night It Was To Time An Egg.

I Was So Ugly My Mother Used To Feed Me With A Sling Shot.

My Childhood Was Bad. No Father. Mother Was Greedy And Brought Me Up Awful - Never Made Me Breakfast Once. I Don't Want To Get Started. One Story Is Worse Than Another.