Well With Girls I Don't Get No

One Time My Whole Family Played Hide And Seek. They Found My Mother In Pittsburgh!

They Took A Survey: Why Do Men Get Up In The Middle Of The Night? Ten Percent Get Up To Go To The Bathroom And 90 Percent Get Up To Go Home.

At Christmas Time We Couldn't Afford Tinsel, So We'd Wait Till Grandpa Sneezed.

When I Was Forty, I Was Getting Divorced, Living In A Low-class, Dirty Hotel In New York. My Mother Was Dying Of Cancer. I Owed $20,000. That Was About The Lowest. I Came Back To Show Business, And I Couldn't Get A Job. I Was Turned Down By Every Small-time Agent In New York.

I Don't Get No Respect