If You Can't Remember The Last Time

It's Hard To Think Of Yourself As A Loser At 2 Years Old.

I've Been To All 50 States, And Traveled This Whole Country, And 90 Percent Of The People Are Good Folks. The Rest Of Them Take After The Other Side Of The Family.

It's Not My Dreams That Get Me In Trouble, It's What My Wife Dreams I Did. My Wife Punched Me In The Middle Of The Night; I Woke Up And Went Oww! What Was That For?, And She Goes I Dreamt You Were Making Out With Faith Hill. I Said I Wasn't Dreaming Anything! Send Her Over To My Dreams, And We'll Both Be Happy.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Prominently Display A Gift You Bought At Graceland.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Momma Gives You Tips On How To Sneak Booze Into Sporting Events.