If The Scottish Want To Break Away,

I Was Reading The Mirror The Other Day And Came Across A Letter From A Reader Who Wrote, 'i Was Riding My Bike To Work When This Red Ferrari Pulled Up Next To Me. Out Of The Window, Jeremy Clarkson Shouted 'get A Car', And Drove Off.' What I Actually Said Was, 'get A Car You Hatchet Faced, Leaf-eating Tw*t

It Couldn't Pull A Greased Stick Out Of A Pig's Bottom

Hollywood Movies Are Designed For 15-year-old Youths From North Dakota Who, Intellectually Speaking, Are On Equal Terms With A British Zoo Animal.

Some Say That He Has No Understanding Of Clouds, And That His Ear Wax Tastes Like Turkish Delight. All We Know Is He’s Called The Stig.

All This Health And Safety Talk Is Just Killing Me.