I Went To A Fight The Other

I Asked My Wife, 'is There Somebody Else?' She Said, 'there Must Be.'

My Kids Scotch Tape Worms To The Sidewalk And Watch The Birds Get Hernias.

I Took My Son To Coney Island, I Said "wanna Go In The Crazy House?", He Said "save Your Money We'll Be Home Soon"!

I Have Nothing But Troubles With My Car. Every Sunday I Take My Family Out For A Push.

Sure I Smoked Pot In Hospital. My Wife Won't Let Me Toke At Home.