Hey Everybody, We're All Gonna Get Laid!

When I Was Born The Doctor Took One Look At My Face, Turned Me Over And Said, "look, Twins!"

People Seldom Live Up To Their Baby Pictures.

Well With Girls I Don't Get No Respect. I Had A Blind Date. I Waited Two Hours On The Corner. A Girl Walked By. I Said Are You Louise? She Said, Are You Rodney? I Said, Yeah. She Said, I'm Not Louise.

Everyone Says That Looks Don't Matter, Age Doesn't Matter, Money Doesn't Matter. But I Never Met A Girl Yet Who Has Fallen In Love With An Old Ugly Man Who's Broke.

I Don't Care How Rich And Successful A Man Is. He's Nothing Without An Education.