When I Was Born The Doctor Took

She Was So Fat That Her Belly Button Makes An Echo.

My Wife And I Keep Fighting About Sex And Money. I Think She Charges Me Too Much.

Last Week I Told My Wife, If You Would Learn To Cook, I Could Fire The Chef. She Said, If You Could Learn To Make Love, I Could Fire The Chauffer.

My Wife And I Were Happy For 20 Years. Then We Met.

A Homeless Guy Came Up To Me On The Street, Said He Hadn't Eaten In Four Days. I Told Him, "man, I Wish I Had Your Willpower.