Every Town Has The Same Two Malls:

I Love Black People, But I Hate Niggers.

I'm Pretty Good At Getting Over People Throwing Stuff At Me. If You've Been Doing Stand Up Long Enough You Know How To Swing Back And Get The Laughs.

For The Most Part, Comedy Is The Only Fair Part Of Show Business.

Whoever You Hate Will End Up In Your Family. You Don't Like Gays? You're Gonna Have A Gay Son. You Don't Like Puerto Ricans? Your Daughter's Gonna Come Home With Livin' La Vida Loca!

The Government Hates Rap. That's Why They Don't Arrest Anybody That Kills Rappers! Only The Good Ones Are Dead, Man! Only The Good Ones: Biggie Dead, Tupac Dead, Vanilla Ice Still Alive! They Don't Fill Out A Police Report. They Don't Even Have A Chalk Line When It's A Dead Rapper, They Just Take A Piss Around The Body.