I Love To Go To The Doctor.

They Always Say To Californians That We Don't Have Seasons. Of Course, That Is Not True. We Have Fire, Flood, Mud And Drought.

Cleaning Your House While Your Kids Are Still Growing Up Is Like Shoveling The Walk Before It Stops Snowing.

Christmas Is A Time When Everybody Wants His Past Forgotten And His Present Remembered.

I Serve Dinner In Three Phases: Serve The Food, Clear The Table, Bury The Dead.

This Man I Was Going With Asked Me For My Finger Measurements. I Thought He Was Going To Buy Me A Ring For Christmas, But He Gave Me A Bowling Ball.