List of Joe Rogan Quotes

The Comics I Hate Are Thieves. Nothing's More Disgusting Than A Guy Who Steals Another Person's Ideas And Tries To Claim Them As His Own.

Dick Gregory Was A Great Comedian Who Went And Got Arrested, Did Hunger Strikes, Protests. It Never Hurt His Career To Be Outspoken.

But It's Hard For A Chick To Do Comedy. It's Not As Open For Them.

When You Snatch Little Pieces Of Other People's Lives And Try To Palm Them Off As Your Own, That's More Disgusting Than Anything. Robin Williams Is A Huge Thief. Denis Leary Is A Huge Thief. His Whole Stand-up Career Is Based On Bill Hicks, A Brilliant Guy Who Died Years Ago.

If Tyson Griffin Was A Girl, I'd Say He Has A Badonkadonk.

I Never Want To Compromise My Act Just To Get A Laugh.

I Really Never Thought People Would Think That I Was Funny, I Thought (my Friends) Thought I Was Funny Because I Was Their Friend, But Other People Would Just Think I Was An Asshole. I Was At Least Partly Right.

If I Could Make The Same Amount Of Money Doing Standup It Would Be No Contest. The Problem Is That If You Do Make That Kind Of Money Doing Standup, It's Not In Clubs, It's In Big Auditoriums And Large Venues, And I Really Think Something Is Lost When You Do Standup For A Big Crowd.

I Prefer Older People To College Kids [as Audience] For The Most Part. I Want People With Life Experience, People That Understand Where I'm Coming From.

Because I Have A Girlfriend, I Try And Take The Straight And Narrow Path, Which Is Good Because It Prevents Vd.

I Never In My Wildest Imagination Dreamed That I Would Somehow Become A Sports Commentator.

I’m Afraid Of Heights. Not Unreasonably, But Rationally Afraid Of Heights. I Think Everyone Is.