You Might Be A Redneck If You

Talking With Gary Busey Is Kinda Like Sex. You Want To Do It, You Just Don't Want To Be Alone When You Do It.

The Stuff That Made Me Mad 20 Years Ago Doesn't Really Make Me Mad Any More.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have Every Episode Of Hee Haw On Tape.

This Happened To Me Last Week. We're In The Process Of Remodeling Our House; We've Been Doing It For A While Now. And We Have The Painters In, Putting Sheets Up Around The Furniture, You Know? And We Have A Piano, Just A Regular, Up Against The Wall Piano. One Of The Painters Said To Me, "is That Y'all's Piano?" I Said, "nah, That's Our Coffee Table, It Just Has Buckteeth! Here's Your Sign!

You Might Be A Redneck If The Tobacco Chewers In Your Family Aren't Just Men.