When Deciding Between Two Competing Theories, Always

My Mother Was Like A Sister To Me, Only We Didn't Have Sex Quite So Often.

When I Was A Kid, I Slept On Rubber Sheets, But Now, I'm A Man. And I Can Take The Wetness!

Women: You Can't Live With Them, And You Can't Get Them To Dress Up In A Skimpy Little Nazi Costume And Beat You With A Warm Squash Or Something.

You Know What I Hate? Indian Givers... No, I Take That Back.

Coming Up With A Funny Joke Is Like Falling In Love: It Can Hit You Any Time, Anywhere. Having Said That, The More You Put Yourself Out There, The Better Your Odds Will Be.