What I've Learned Is That Life Is

Coffee Doesn't Need A Menu, It Needs A Cup. That's All It Needs! Maybe A Saucer Underneath The Cup — That's It.

We Live In A Country Where John Lennon Takes Eight Bullets, Yoko Ono Is Walking Right Beside Him And Not One Hits Her. Explain That To Me!

I Was Working With Peter Tolan, Who Was My Writing Partner On Those Two [rescue Me And The Job], And He Did The Larry Sanders Show With Garry Shandling, And He Always Said That The Second Season Is Better Because You Know The Actors.

There Is A Huge Boom In Autism Right Now Because Inattentive Mothers And Competitive Dads Want An Explanation For Why Their Dumb-ass Kids Can't Compete Academically, So They Throw Money Into The Happy Laps Of Shrinks . . . To Get Back Diagnoses That Help Explain Away The Deficiencies Of Their Junior Morons. I Don't Give A [bleep] What These Crackerjack Whack Jobs Tell You - Yer Kid Is Not Autistic. He's Just Stupid. Or Lazy. Or Both.

Don't Buy The Toys That Make The Noise!