We Need More Cartoonists To Truly Retire

Sticking To My Schedule, Ive Gotten Over Seven Months Ahead, Which Allowed Me To Write A Pearls Before Swine Movie Script For The Big Screen.

I'm Very Harsh On Real Estate Agents. I'm Not Sure Why. Maybe It's Because Of How The Call Every Small House 'charming' And Every Run-down House A 'great Fixer-upper'. Just Once, I'd Like Them To Show Me A House And Declare, 'this One's A Piece Of Crap'.

It's Best To Love Your Family As You Would A Siberian Tiger-from A Distance, Preferably Separated By Bars.

If A Restaurant Offers Crayons, I Always Take Them And Color Throughout The Meal. It Beats Talking To The People I Came To Dinner With.

A Stand-up Comedian Faces The Audiences And Gets Their Immediate Feedback. I Hide Behind The Comic Strip, And Unless People Write To Me, I Dont Know What They Think.