Tonight, The New Viper, Which Is The

If The Scottish Want To Break Away, I Shall Stand On Hadrian's Wall With A Teary Handkerchief, And Say: 'good Riddance To The Lot Of You, And Take Your Stupid Bagpipes With You.'

We All Know That Small Cars Are Good For Us. But So Is Cod Liver Oil. And Jogging.

Then There’s The Biggest Problem Of Them All – The Problem Of Being In An Audi Tt When You Are Not Called Angela. I Do Not Know Why It Can Be Driven By Only People Named Angela, But That’s A Fact And There’s Nothing We Can Do About It. If You Have A Tt And You Aren’t Called Angela, You Have The Wrong Car.

You Take Out An Injunction Against Somebody Or Some Organisation And Immediately News Of That Injunction And The People Involved And The Story Behind The Injunction Is In A Legal-free World On Twitter And The Internet. It's Pointless.

I Have A Pathological Terror Of Falling Through Ice. I Nearly Drowned Once. I Fell Off A Boat And Got A Cramp, And Was Rescued By An Oil-rig Diver, A Great Bear Of A Man Who Simply Leant Into The Water And Scooped Me Out With One Finger.