There Are Only Three Ways A Congressman

Russia Has Banned All Adoptions To Americans. So, If You Were Hoping To Get A Little White Kid With Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, You're Going To Have To Wait Until Lindsay Lohan Reproduces.

There Are Only Three Ways A Congressman Goes Out: They Die In Office, They Cash In As A Lobbyist, Or They Mistakenly Tweet A Picture Of Their D*ck.

Rick Santorum Has Come Out Against Contraception And Against College. He Wants Us Literally To Be F**king Stupid.

I Thought This Election Was An Adult Discussion On How Best To Protect Ourselves In The Face Of Terrorism, But Apparently It Was A Referendum On Boys Kissing... When Homophobia Trumps Terrorism In America, Wow. This Country Needs To Get Laid.

When You Tolerate Intolerance, You're Not Really Being A Liberal.