That Secondary Provides Worse Coverage Than A

Elected Office Holds More Perks Than Elvis' Nightstand.

We've Got Nancy Pelosi. She Never Shuts Up. It's Just Occasionally We Have To Hood Her Like A Falcon So We Can Get Some Sleep.

Even The Best Psychiatrist Is Like A Blindfolded Auto Mechanic Poking Around Under Your Hood With A Giant Foam "we're #1" Finger.

Jerry Falwell Says That Abortion And Homosexuality Are Sins. Oh Yeah? Well, So Is Gluttony, Jerry. So Maybe You Should Think About Dropping 50 Pounds.

The White House Looked Into A Plan That Would Allow Illegal Immigrants To Stay In The United States. The Plan Called For A Million Mexicans To Marry A Million Of Our Ugliest Citizens.