We've Got Nancy Pelosi. She Never Shuts

Democratic Candidate John Kerry On Tuesday Chose Fellow Senator John Edwards To Be His Running Mate. Asked About Edwards' Lack Of Foreign Policy Experience, Kerry Revealed His New Campaign Slogan, 'i Promise Not To Die.'

Just Be Good And Kind To Your Children. Not Only Are They The Future Of The World, They're The Ones Who Can Sign You Into The Nursing Home.

We Are Simultaneously The Most Hated, Loved, Feared And Admired Nation On This Planet. In Short, We Are Frank Sinatra.

There's A Lot Of Differing Data [about Global Warming], But As Far As I Can Gather, Over The Last Hundred Years The Temperature On This Planet Has Gone Up 1.8 Degrees. Am I The Only One Who Finds That Amazingly Stable? I Could Go Back To My Hotel Room Tonight And Futz With The Thermostat For Three To Four Hours. I Could Not Detect That Difference.

Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol Called. You're At 14:55 And We're Tickin' Big-time Here, Chachi.