Jerry Falwell Says That Abortion And Homosexuality

The Man Who Accused Richard Simmons Of Slapping Him In An Airport Has Dropped The Assault Charge. Dropped It! Upon Hearing The News, Simmons Sadly Responded, "you Mean I'm Not Going To Prison?"

If Somebody Wants To Shoot Up And Die In Front Of You, More Power To Them. The Herd Has A Way Of Thinning Itself Out.

Homosexuals Are Entering The Mainstream, Because They're Becoming As Boring And As Tedious As Any Other Splinter Group.

The Soldiers Kill Suicide Bombers. Think About That. When A Guys Whole Thing In Life Is To Kill Himself And You Get There First... You Are Halling Ass My Friends.

Half The People I Look Who Are Health Food Addicts Look Sickly To Me. Let's Start Taxing Health Food. Somebody Force A Burger Down Some Of These People's Jaw Because They Look A Little Pale And Wan To Me.