Sure The Jews Killed Jesus, But The

It's A Good Thing I'm A Professional And Could See The Pure Genius Talent Behind The Raw Sexual Beauty.

Don't Get Me Started On Cold Toilet Seats.

I've Never Had Much Sympathy For Orphans, I Mean, When I Was Their Age I Would Have Killed To Have No Parents To Make Me Clean My Room And Stuff

I Definitely Try To Play A Common Man In My Roles So People Can Identify With My Characters, But The Truth Of The Matter Is That It Doesn't Really Matter What I Do Or My Lines Are, I'm Still Zach Braff, And People Know I'm Better Than Them.

When Things Seem To Be Slowing Down, There's This Little Trick I Like To Play. I'd Plow This Virgin Who's On Her Period, And After I'm Done I'd Just Run Out Into The Living Room, Or The Dance Floor, With All That Bloody Goop On My Junk And Yell, Oh My God, I've Been Shot In The Nads! Yeah, Good Times.