Don't Get Me Started On Cold Toilet

There Is One Person I Can Think Of Better Than Me. And That's Zach Braff. What A Cool Guy.

People Always Tell Me I Should Run For President, But I Don't Think They'd Give Me Enough Time Off To Make My Films.

You Know How They Do That Effect In Movies, Where They Make It Look Like You Have A Twin, But It's Really Just The Same Actor Playing Both Characters In The Scene? I Knew This Would Be The Best Route, But I Just Wasn't Comfortable Dressing As A Woman, So I Had To Hire Other Actors.

I Love The Holiday Season, Almost As Much As I Love Touching Myself In Front Of Orphans.

Yea, He's Alright...but He's No Zach Braff.