Quiet Down, We Don't Want To Wake

Rick Perry Is Now Saying He Thinks That Barack Obama's Birth Certificate Is Fake. I Think Perry May Have Faked His Driver's License.

Happy Birthday To Evil North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un. He Gathered Family And Friends Together And Celebrated By Executing A Few Close Friends.

I Knew That If I Woke Up Hung Over, I Couldn't Do The Best Possible Job On The Show, So I Had To Quit. Also, I'd Consumed A Lot Of Beer For A Lot Of Years, And I Thought, That's Enough. I've Had My Fun And I'm Glad I Quit.

Father's Day: When You Get That Lethal Combination Of Alcohol And New Power Tools.

Traffic Signals In New York Are Just Rough Guidelines.