The National Association Of Theater Concessionaires Reported

We Make A Lot Of Fun At President Clinton's Expense. But This Transition Is Going To Be Tough Because It's Been 25 Years Since This Guy Has Gotten Laid In The Private Sector.

Rick Perry Is Now Saying He Thinks That Barack Obama's Birth Certificate Is Fake. I Think Perry May Have Faked His Driver's License.

I Went Through One Period When I Smoked A Surprising, A Really Breath-taking, Amount Of Grass Almost Every Night.

Hookers In Times Square, God Bless 'em, Are Offering A Mitt Romney Special. For An Extra $20 They'll Change Positions.

Are You Excited About The Recall Election? Arnold's Campaign Has A New Slogan: 'win One For The Groper.'