Yesterday Was The New York City Marathon.

I Got A Call From My Mom Today, She Says, 'well, David, I See You Didn't Get The 'tonight Show' Again.'

I Heard This Today And I Thought This Was Fascinating And Interesting. President Bush Has Two Daughters, Two Beautiful Daughters, And They May Work On Their Father's Presidential Campaign After They Get Out Of College And I Thought, Well, That's A Pretty Good Move Because In This Economy, They Won't Be Able To Find Real Jobs.

Mitt Romney Is Doing What He Can. He's Trying Very Hard. He Wants To Unite America, The Rich With The Wealthy, The Poor With The Indigent, And The White With The Caucasian.

A Small Handgun Makes Any Tv Remote Control.

There's A Rumor That President George Bush Had A Nose Job, That He Had Some Kind Of Plastic Surgery, That He Actually Had A Nose Job. If This Is True, That's The First New Job He's Created Since Taking Office.