Nowadays You Can't Even Spank Your Kids.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Grandmother Can Correctly Execute The Sleeper Hold.

You Might Be A Redneck If You See A Sign That Says Say No To Crack And It Reminds You To Pull Your Jeans Up.

This Happened To Me Last Week. We're In The Process Of Remodeling Our House; We've Been Doing It For A While Now. And We Have The Painters In, Putting Sheets Up Around The Furniture, You Know? And We Have A Piano, Just A Regular, Up Against The Wall Piano. One Of The Painters Said To Me, "is That Y'all's Piano?" I Said, "nah, That's Our Coffee Table, It Just Has Buckteeth! Here's Your Sign!

You Might Be A Redneck If Every Electrical Outlet In Your House Is A Fire Hazard.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Use A Radiator Hose To Fix Your Kitchen Sink.