Now. Now Is The Most Important Time

I Hear Jerry Falwell Every Sunday Here Talking About The Devil And Hollywood. . . . I'm Gonna Write Him A Letter. Hollywood Wasn't Built On Filth And Dirt - It Was Built On Talent.

God Bless The Universe, God Bless Japanese, Chinese, Indians, All Of Them And Let's Have Peace.

Had I Been Brighter, The Ladies Been Gentler, The Scotch Been Weaker, Had The Gods Been Kinder, Had The Dice Been Hotter, This Could Have Been A One-sentence Story: Once Upon A Time I Lived Happily Ever After.

I've Been Short All My Life. And If Anyone Wonders What My Dying Wish Will Be, They Can Stop Wondering. That Will Be Easy. I'll Just Tell Them, 'i'll Have A Short Bier.'

And That's The Way I Have Always Lived, For The Laughs – Today. N-o-w. No Other Way.