My Husband Wanted To Be Cremated. I

My Daughter Refuses To Call Me Mother In Public; My Little Grandson Calls Me Spongeslob Squarebottom, And Nobody Else Ever Calls Me At All.

No Man Will Ever Put His Hand Up Your Dress Looking For A Library Card.

I Have So Little Sex Appeal That My Gynecologist Calls Me "sir."

I Have To Tell You That It's Not Going To Be Easy. Take Every Chance And Every Opportunity That You Can. Don't Say 'i Can't' Or 'i Shouldn't' Or 'i'm Too Tired.'

I Was Smart Enough To Go Through Any Door That Opened.