My Husband Is So Useless That It's

My Husband Always Felt That A Marriage And Career Don't Mix. That's Why He's Never Worked.

This Man I Was Going With Asked Me For My Finger Measurements. I Thought He Was Going To Buy Me A Ring For Christmas, But He Gave Me A Bowling Ball.

My Mother-in-law Had A Pain Beneath Her Left Breast. Turned Out To Be A Trick Knee.

[when To Have A Facelift:] If You're Tripping Over Your Neck.

They Just Elected Me Mis Phonograph Record Of 1966. They Discovered My Measurements Were 33 1/2, 45, 78!