It's Tax Season. When I Woke This

John Kerry Says That Foreign Leaders Want Him To Be President, But That He Can't Name The Foreign Leaders. That's All Right, President Bush Can't Name Them Either.

A Priest In New York City Was Arrested On Gun Possession. These Days, You Better Be Happy That The Bulge In His Pocket Is A .38.

Now How About This, Ladies And Gentlemen? The Governor Of Alaska, Sarah Palin, Has Announced She Is Stepping Down. She Will No Longer Be The Governor Of Alaska. First Thing, She Woke Up And Went Out On Her Porch And Waved Goodbye To Russia.

Today Mitt Romney Is 68 Years Old. It's Kind Of Sad, A 68-year-old Guy With No Job, No Future - Wait A Minute, That's Me.

They're Talking About Putting A Woman On The $20 Bill. And Hillary Said, 'i'm Available.'