If You Can Make Just One Person

I Was Sick Of People Making Fun Of My Hair And So I Cut It Off And I've Got Much More Attention Than Ever Before. It Was Like When Mona Lisa Was Stolen From The Louvre In 1906 - Three Times More People Came To See Where It Used To Be.

I Caught My Wife In Bed With Another Man And I Was Crushed. So I Said, "get Off Of Me, You Two!"

Cell Phones Are Like A Dog's Nipples... You Don't Have To Shout Into Them!

Ambiguity — The Devil's Volleyball.

Pentiums Melt In Your Pc, Not In Your Hand.