If I Get Big Laughs, I'm A

I Look Better, Feel Better, Make Love Better And I'll Tell You Something Else....i Never Lied Better.

Take Care Not To Wear Stripes That Are Out Of Sync With Your Wrinkles.

I've Been A Straight Man For So Many Years That From Force Of Habit I Repeat Everything. I Went Out Fishing With A Fellow The Other Day And He Fell Overboard. He Yelled, Help! Help! Help! So I Said, Help? Help? Help? And While I Was Waiting For Him To Get His Laugh, He Drowned.

Being An Actor Is Easy, Just Picture Someone In A Room And You Outside Waiting For Your Cue To Go In. Elliot Gould's Been Trying That For Forty Years.

Acting Is All About Honesty. If You Can Fake That, You've Got It Made.