I Was The Kid Next Door's Imaginary

My Classmates Would Copulate With Anything That Moved, But I Never Saw Any Reason To Limit Myself.

Even The Worst Comic Is At Least Somewhat Entertaining, If Only In A Pathological Way, For Five Minutes.

I Don't Know If I Was Put On This Earth For A Purpose Or Not. But I'm Fairly Confident That I'll Be Taken Off Of It For One.

My Parents Were Very Protective. I Couldn't Even Cross The Street Without Them Getting All Excited, And Placing Bets.

I Give Money To Unicef Because I Like The 'bang For Your Buck' Aspect. Here's $10, Go And Save 1,000 Kids From Blindness!