I Wanted To Be A Rock Star.

People Spend Thousands Of Dollars Trying To Keep Their Teeth Straight. I Just Hope We Can Live In A World Where We Accept Gay Teeth.

Fat Is Where Comedy Is Stored.

I Watched The Republican Debate. At One Point, The Candidates Said There Are No Classes In America, A Point Then Hotly Debated By All Six Rich White Guys That Were There.

Some People Watching Cnn Were So Shocked They Started Rioting. No, I'm Kidding. No One Watches Cnn.

Personally, I Hope He Doesn't Get Out Of The Campaign. I Need Rick Perry. I Don't Want To Spend The Next Year Trying To Do Jokes About Mitt Romney.