Fat Is Where Comedy Is Stored.

I Think The Scores For Olympic Gymnastics Are Affected By What Countries The Judge And The Gymnast Are From. That's Wrong. That Type Of Political Pandering Isn't Meant For Gymnastic Olympic Events. It's Meant For The Supreme Court.

I Didn't Flee A Dictator Or Swim An Ocean To Be An American Like Some Do. I Just Thought Long And Hard About It.

Be Careful Who You Choose As Your Hero Or Who You Choose To Deify, Be It Clay Aiken Or Barack Obama. You Put All You're Hope And All Your Dreams And All Your Ideas About Stuff Into One Human Being. They're A Human Being They're Going To Let You Down. You Can't Make Someone Your Hero Because Of Something You Read On The Internet. The Internet Is Not A Source Of Information It Is A Source Of Disinformation.

I Aim To Please. I'm Nothing If Not A Vaudevillian.

According To A New Study, Hawaii Is The Happiest Place In America To Live. And I Thought It Was Just A Great Place To Pretend You Were Born In.