I've Done A Lot Of Complaining Here,

When There Are Starving People In The World, It Seems Wrong That So Many Of Us Americans Eat As Much For Entertainment As For Nourishment.

There Are More Beauty Parlors Than There Are Beauties.

My Own Time Is Passing Fast Enough Without Some National Game To Help It Along.

We're All Proud Of Making Little Mistakes. It Gives Us The Feeling We Don't Make Any Big Ones.

Yes, We Praise Women Over 40 For A Multitude Of Reasons. Unfortunately, It's Not Reciprocal. For Every Stunning, Smart, Well-coiffed, Hot Woman Over 40, There Is A Bald, Paunchy Relic In Yellow Pants Making A Fool Of Himself With Some 22-year Old Waitress. Ladies, I Apologize. For All Those Men Who Say, "why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?", Here's An Update For You. Nowadays 80% Of Women Are Against Marriage. Why? Because Women Realize It's Not Worth Buying An Entire Pig Just To Get A Little Sausage!