I Told My Wife The Truth. I

A Hooker Once Told Me She Had A Headache.

I Tell Ya, Sex Is Getting Harder All The Time. Me And My Wife Were Trying To Have Sex For Hours Last Night And I Finally Gave Up. I Asked Her, "what, You Can't Think Of Anybody Either?"

My Family Was A Bunch Of Drunks. When I Was Six I Came Up Missing, They Put My Picture On A Bottle Of Scotch.

I Asked My Wife, 'on A Scale Of 1 To 10, How Do You Rate Me As A Lover?' She Said, 'you Know I'm No Good At Fractions.'

With My Doctor, I Don't Get No Respect. I Told Him I Want A Vasectomy. He Said With A Face Like Mine, I Don't Need One.