I’m Not A Politician. I Think That

I'm Never Going To Get Married Again. Three Strikes, You're Out. I Think If I Would Try To Get Married Again In California, I Have To Go To Prison, Don't I? I Think You Only Get Three.

I Have A Huge Crush On President George W. Bush. I Saw Him At A Recent Fundraiser, And He`s A Babe. He`s Got That Ronald Reagan Charm. I Think He`s Hot. I Respect His Wife, But If He Wasn`t Married I`d Be Putting On My Cowboy Boots And Coming Around.

Being Nuts Is Its Own Reward.

I'm Not Upset About My Divorce. I'm Only Upset That I'm Not A Widow.

Women Complain About Pms, But I Think Of It As The Only Time Of The Month When I Can Be Myself.